wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
