Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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