I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
