By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
