Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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