You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Randomize
