Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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