Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
