Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
