I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
