Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize