Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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