So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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