just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
