problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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