I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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