Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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