shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I stole a fireplace last night.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You are a genius and a whore.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
