i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
