Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
