I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
