I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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