Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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