Will you blow on my dice?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
