your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
