a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
