so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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