How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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