I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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