She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
