I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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