If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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