u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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