I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I didn't notice because vodka
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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