Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You left your phone here
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