dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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