Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
