Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
