Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
