My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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