Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
