I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
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