the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
