Sry I called you an 8
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize