i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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