Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
