you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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