Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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