i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
