end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
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