he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
