I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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