i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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