dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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