We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
