I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
how drunk are you?
Several
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
