You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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